Righteous Anger

When I think about ADD/ADHD and my issues in relationship to non ADDers or the possibly "undiagnosed" I quite naturally get angry. I have been deeply shamed, horribly nagged and my character insulted, by people without ADD who chose to actively ignore the fact that ADD was affecting my ability to function in an "acceptable" (a term so very subjective) way. I say "affecting" not "ruling" because I know I conciously made choices that negatively impacted others. However, many times it was the ADD/ADHD that caused the problem, not because I wanted to forget something important to someone else, but because I was'nt aware how awful my ability to process and store important information really was. Understanding is a key to having compassion, but I have found that for some people it is easier to choose ignorance of the issue rather than try to accomodate or "work with" an ADD/ADHD person, be they a child, friend, spouse, coworker, supervisor etc.
Having said all that I know that if I forget a loved ones birthday for example, when I knowingly could have created a way to remind me of that date, that I am in the wrong. They have a legitimate reason to be angry, what they don't have in my opinion is the right to therefore assasinate my character to nth degree calling me worthless, a loser, lazy etc. (Does anybody sympathize with how much I hate to be called "lazy", I bet you do.)
My point is that we ADD/ADHDers have a right to be angry, but we also have a responsibility to do what we can to minimize the negative impact this disorder has on others but especially ourselves. I have not always taken on that responsibility or at least not consistently (what does that word mean anyway?). I regret the way that has caused pain for others. I truly regret the pain I have caused myself by conciously remaining unconcious about my ADD/ADHD. My only hope is to try and do something different than I did before, to fight the good fight as they say, care to join me?