Finally a new post Arrgh!

As the seasons change I'm more scattered than ever but becoming more comfortable with that fact everyday, the fact that I'm gonna be this way forever, despite the meds that I recently stopped taking again, despite my ADD coach who is a treasure beyond measure April Ancel is her name, she's really helping to increase my acceptance of this disease. despite it all this is the way things are- messy channel surfing bull shit- but it's mine.

You've gotta Fight for your Right......to hate your job

Ahh hahaha.. the jokester is in session today. What I want to talk about is the right of ADD/ADHDers to accommodations in the work place, we have a recognized disability. I remember the day my boss came to me for the umpteenth time about my paperwork being late. I finally told him I had ADD/ADHD he said that now he knew my formerly mysteriously lazy behaviour began to make sense. The sense of relief I felt at that moment was profound. I was able to ask for help in a way that did not make me feel defective. I even asked to be checked up on more often! Can you believe that?
Since then my performance evaluations progressively got better and better. I think that was the turning point where I began to work with my ADHD instead of against it. I've definitely learned that once I got on top of my paperwork, progress notes etc. the way to stay on top was to do it now. That's not to say that I always jump right on tasks but I'm not so far behind the eight ball anymore that I can't get caught up very quickly usually same day.
OK here is an excellent article about accommodations on the job by Dale S. Brown from the ADDA website.
Remember to keep fighting.

In Case You Were Wondering

Attention Deficit/Hyperactivity Disorder (ADHD) is the formal name for what is known as Attention Deficit Disorder ( ADD ). You will see many variations on this definition throughout the web but its ADHD that's referred to in DSM IV I tend to refer to myself as an ADDer because as an adult I have of course shed the hyperactive part, right? I mean that fidgeting in your seat running around the school yard throwing the ball while you climb a tree stuff that's for kids right? Hmmm... maybe I still do all that but just in my car driving too fast drinking coffee, listening to the radio and talking on the cell, like all the other non-hyperactive adults.

Love Hurts

10 Things Adults with ADD Would Like Their Partners To Know
20 More Things Adults with ADD Would Like Their Partners To Know
Good stuff, relationships are the hardest for us, maybe harder than for anybody else.

Where do ADD/ADHDers gather on the web?

I think eventually I'm going to build a separate site to hold the links and articles because really I'm only giving bits and pieces as of yet. In the meantime here's a couple forums groups etc.
A Myspace group
A Tribe.net group ADD adults I'm a member I think its the most active on tribe.
A directory of Yahoo ADD/ADHD groups
2 Google groups
Probably the biggest most active ADD Forum ADDF
ADDERS.org forum, requires registration to read forums which I'm not thrilled about, but if you have the patience go ahead, I don't, at least not today.
Forums at ADDitude.com
Ok I'm fading a bit need a break, I'll be right back with more distracting stuff!

Righteous Anger

When I think about ADD/ADHD and my issues in relationship to non ADDers or the possibly "undiagnosed" I quite naturally get angry. I have been deeply shamed, horribly nagged and my character insulted, by people without ADD who chose to actively ignore the fact that ADD was affecting my ability to function in an "acceptable" (a term so very subjective) way. I say "affecting" not "ruling" because I know I conciously made choices that negatively impacted others. However, many times it was the ADD/ADHD that caused the problem, not because I wanted to forget something important to someone else, but because I was'nt aware how awful my ability to process and store important information really was. Understanding is a key to having compassion, but I have found that for some people it is easier to choose ignorance of the issue rather than try to accomodate or "work with" an ADD/ADHD person, be they a child, friend, spouse, coworker, supervisor etc.
Having said all that I know that if I forget a loved ones birthday for example, when I knowingly could have created a way to remind me of that date, that I am in the wrong. They have a legitimate reason to be angry, what they don't have in my opinion is the right to therefore assasinate my character to nth degree calling me worthless, a loser, lazy etc. (Does anybody sympathize with how much I hate to be called "lazy", I bet you do.)
My point is that we ADD/ADHDers have a right to be angry, but we also have a responsibility to do what we can to minimize the negative impact this disorder has on others but especially ourselves. I have not always taken on that responsibility or at least not consistently (what does that word mean anyway?). I regret the way that has caused pain for others. I truly regret the pain I have caused myself by conciously remaining unconcious about my ADD/ADHD. My only hope is to try and do something different than I did before, to fight the good fight as they say, care to join me?

Links to Power

I am going to start posting as many useful ADD/ADHD links as I can, some to whole websites others to individual articles. I love scouring the Internet and it's an ADD related strength of mine, what's yours?
This is only a taste of whats out there but I wanted to get started, maybe like, "complete a task", ya dig?
Attention Deficit Disorder Association Focuses on Adult ADD
CHADD Big site with links to meetings which you should try attending at least once so you can share space with others you know are like you for the first time, empowerment defined.
Born To Explore Definitely Helpful and that's what counts.

BTW many sites have commercial interests but that's a good thing in my opinion, if there wasn't money to made no one would pay attention to this disorder, sad but true.

Fighting The Good Fight

No one knows what we go through just to make it through a day like we do. Only those who suffer like we do struggle like we do know what is going on inside my head right now. Only another ADDer knows how difficult it is to keep my mind on this singular task of completing another sentence. I can guarantee that all of us have experienced pain related to the way we process information in one form or another. I know that I personally have been to the depths of depression as a direct result of the low self esteem associated with ADD/ADHD.
Sounds pretty awful right? Well it is, but...... knowing that I am not alone is the beginning of acceptance. Knowing that this disorder is recognized by the psychiatric community and defined by the DSM-IV means to me that most of the problems I experience in life are not the result of a moral failing, "laziness", lack of will power etc. They are the direct result of trying to function in the world while my brain is flipping channels faster than a caffeinated and sugared up 12 yr old with a remote control in their video game trained hands.
If you can relate to that metaphor you are one of us, if you have been diagnosed you are one of us, if you are wondering if you should be diagnosed you are probably one of us. If you were just thinking about 5 other things just now you are definitely one of us. Who we are people with ADD/ADHD and we need to stand up for one another because the rest of the world just doesn't get it, or us.
Acceptance is the key to learning to live with ADD/ADHD. Recognizing what is happening and why gives us immense power. The power to change our behaviour if we want to, or not. This blog invites you to share your experiences, your triumphs and failures, the things that work and those that don't. Written by and for those with ADD/ADHD together we can share the load, a burden that has felt unbearable at many times for all of us.